So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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