too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
