the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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