For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
