the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
