yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
