lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
