And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
