I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
