Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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