Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
