Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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