When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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