What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
