yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
