you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
