grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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