i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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