I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize