dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bring money and cleavage
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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