Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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