i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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