I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
