she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
