I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize