so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Randomize
