you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
