there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
