ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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