so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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