We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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