I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
