Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
