my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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