Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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