He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
