in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
