wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
