sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
