using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
