What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
