Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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