I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
