I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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