I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
how drunk are you?
Several
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
