She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So much rum. So many feels.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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