so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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