shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
