No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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