If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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