So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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