I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
