I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
