Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
