I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
