After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
