I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize