"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
