omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
