Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize