bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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