i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
