My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
