The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
