Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
