Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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