Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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