Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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