i jhust puked up my retainher.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
