do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
