It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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