uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize