Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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