listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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