There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
