What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
