I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just high enough for therapy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
