bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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