fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
