Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
