when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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