Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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